In 2012, at just 24 years old, I was diagnosed with testicular cancer. At the time I had worked for several years at a high-end luxury resort in Southwest Florida (The Gasparilla Inn). Our General Manager at the time was Jon Reecher, and on the day I was diagnosed, I texted him to see if we could meet. I would be undergoing surgery in a few days and chemotherapy shortly thereafter. Work, which at the time was a priority for me, was about to be secondary and Jon needed to know.
Jon’s office, like many GMs’, was large and welcoming. To the right was a small conference table, to the left was Jon’s desk. Behind the desk was a comfortable executive chair, and on the other side two chairs for his guests. This desk, while beautiful and likely made of a rare wood, was also commanding and created a clear barrier between two parties.
I’d sat across that desk from Jon plenty of times before, me in a guest chair, him in his executive chair, talking through whatever issue was at hand. I never thought much of this setup, until the day I shared my unfortunate news.
I recall vividly walking into his office. Whether it was my text asking to meet or the look on my face when I arrived, Jon knew I was in trouble. He quickly greeted me and then did something so simple, so easy, but so meaningful – he got up from his chair, came around to my side of the desk, and sat in the chair next to me.
What followed was exactly what you’d expect when someone shares news like that. I cried. Jon, being the good leader he is, responded with sympathy and reassurance that my job would be safe. Truth be told, I can’t remember anything he said, but I do remember where he sat. By sitting next to me, by sitting with me, Jon eliminated the barrier between us and demonstrated empathy and care. He made me feel at ease and made a very difficult conversation just a little bit easier.
That moment has stayed with me ever since. The next time a difficult conversation arises, don’t stay behind your desk. Come around. Sit with them. It’s such a simple gesture, but it eliminates the barrier between you and shows them they’re not alone in that moment.
For anyone curious, I’m pleased to share that my treatments were a success and I am living a healthy, cancer-free life.
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